Cancer, Chemo and Cocktails!

 Today I got the schedule for the upcoming health exams and finally, the date for the bone marrow transplant.  April 21.  I'm excited and at the same time terrified, more terrified than excited, much more.  The thing is, with this cancer, I don't feel bad.  I get a little tired in the afternoons but for the most part, I wouldn't know I had cancer if I didn't have some pretty whacked up blood results.   I don't want to die, yet, but I am scared at the thought of being brought to the edge of death and back.  I'm wondering will I feel better when this is all over?  Will I have a different perspective on life when I come through this, and if so, what will it be?  Will I be changed at all?   I can guess that only time will tell.

 Just received a call that will save my life...they found a bone marrow donor for me.  To say that I am thrilled and scared beyond all human reason would be an understatement.

"Your hair will grow back." "What have you got to be scared of, heaven?" (my favorite, from my mother) "We have people praying for you." (This is just my peeve) "Everything is going to be alright." (well it don't feel that way right now!) "So and So had cancer and they're all right now." (Goodie for them, I'm still scared.) And so forth. When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you are scared $#!+less. The fear doesn't stop, it sometimes gets put on the backburner while you do something else but you're scared all of the time in some shape, form or fashion.  Cancer is on my mind just about every moment of the day. I'm about to lose 18 to 24 months of my life to recovery if I make it through. Sometimes I pop a prescription anxiety pill to take the edge off but that's only a temporary fix and a little later, the fear returns.  With mine, every weekly blood test has me on edge....is the chemo still working?  Wha

It doesn't run in my family. I eat right and exercise, I'm safe. It only happens to other people. Only (insert population group here, i.e. children, women, men, old people, young people, poor people, African American people, white people, etc....) get it. All these (except maybe the eating and exercise one) I told myself.  Cancer doesn't run in my family.  I actually do eat pretty normally and move around and for no reason whatsoever, one of my Y chromosomes decides to mutate.  The doctor asked me tons of questions about exposure to benzene, working at a gas station, exposure to chemicals, but I haven't.  Come to find out, the bottom line is that it just happens sometimes for no reason and this time it happened to me.  I didn't have per se leukemia, I had a combination of several things that is considered cancer.  My white blood count was going up, my platelets and red blood cells going down, I was getting more tired little bit by little bit every day.   It had happ

 As with all explosions, it always starts with a little spark.  With me, it was no different, what seemed minor and trivial turned out to be something massive. I have severe osteoarthritis and have regular visits to my rheumatologist.  This was one of those trips that I had to have a blood test just to make sure everything was working the way it was supposed to.   She comes back and says everything looks good except did I know I was little anemic?  Anemic?!  Anemic people looked pale and thin, had no energy and laid around in bed all day.  Definitely not me, overweight, running around all the time, healthy except for some hypertension issues, but my white blood cell count number was 11,000 and the threshold is 9000 so I prance to my pharmacist, buy a bottle of iron and a bottle of B12 for good measure and reason that this will knock this out promptly. During this time, I was on the Obamacare plan, and a snag hit...my doctor suddenly retired.  The thing about the ACA, you had to have a

 Hi. Things sometimes start out tiny and then snowball to something you never expect.   Welcome to my life.  What started out as, "has anyone told you you were a little anemic?" to "you have a rare cancer." has prompted me to hopefully help other people who may be, may know someone who is or, like I was, totally terrified of the prospect of getting cancer know what to expect and know that they aren't alone.  I'm also going to give out hints that I have found out that has helped me navigate and deal with this $#!+show called cancer. Do I know everything?  H E doublehockeysticks no.  Does what I say apply to every person?  Fudge no, everybody is different.  Why don't I just go ahead and write out the cuss words?  It's just a thing of mine.  But I know enough through this learning curve I've been on to help at least someone.  If you're scared, I understand.  I have been told I have a year to live if I continue on minimal oral chemotherapy.  We a